Cheesy pop has been my salvation. There is something inherently irresistable about the relentlessly cheery pop tunes of ABBA or even Steps (Remember them?). When I was really into the charts - say in the '80s, such an admission was impossible. I mean before there was 'street cred', we did know that there were certain things that you did not admit to liking - let alone finding therapeutic and uplifting! But I have to say that my IPod is liberally smattered with Andy Williams, Ken Dodd (oh yes!), Barry Manilow and many, many downloads from Glee - I am officially a Gleek!
When I presented this fact to my DBT Grad Group the other (much younger) members derided me for not being in tune with my emotions. I would beg to differ - through my liberal exposure to 'Cheese' I have resurrected my love of all musical forms. Songs and soundtracks which were imbued with unbearably painful emotion, because of history, have become, not only bearable, but I find myself truly enjoying them again.
This is what my Cheesy Pop songs have given me:
1) Permission to dance badly about the kitchen - ignoring looks from pets, neighbours and passing birds!
2) The realisation that music doesn't have to be used to bring me down - certain tunes just lift your spirits - and that's ok because that's 'opposite to emotion' and is a DBT skill - and it works!!
3) I have regained my enjoyment of all music and musical forms - I used to avoid certain songs as they were tainted by past hurts and history - but each time I listen to music, I realise I am in a different place and each time I listen there is an opportunity to create a new emotional response - because I have stopped being a prisoner of my past.
4) I am learning to use music to help me 'sit with' difficult emotions - without linking into past trauma.
5) Music is one of the best and quickest ways I've found to change my mood - either lift my spirits or soothe the aggravated 'savage breast'.
5) I have reached an age where 'trends' (of any kind) don't matter so much and this means I am free to enjoy ANY genre of music in my own way and in my own time.
Fashion is the tyranny of the young!
Reflections on life with BPD. Experience of using DBT to manage ESPD/BPD symptoms. Wanting to connect and encourage others struggling with Mental Illness. Stop the Stigma - the best way to learn about my Mental Health is to ask me about it...
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