Monday, 7 July 2014

How Time Heals - a meditation from Henri Nouwen

I read one of these meditations from Henri Nouwen every day. It is one week to go until my final discharge. So today's meditation I found very apt. Sometimes glib cliches have become glib over time and due to over use. Because my diagnosis only came in my forties I have had a long time without help to manage my condition, not always in the best ways for me. That means that I need to grasp hold of the truth that I need time to let the new skills I have developed through therapy to help me manage my BPD need time to bed in. When there has been a lot of pain and distress in the past, I also need to acknowledge that time passed does not mean those things suddenly cease to hurt. I found these words from Henri Nouwen say it so much better than me:

"How Time Heals

"Time heals," people often say. This is not true when it means that we will eventually forget the wounds inflicted on us and be able to live on as if nothing happened. That is not really healing; it is simply ignoring reality.... "Time heals" implies not passively waiting but actively working with our pain and trusting in the possibility of forgiveness and reconciliation."

I would add that due to the nature of so many past hurts there is only a 'possibility' of forgiveness and reconciliation. Sometimes we need to radically accept that those who have hurt us cannot accept our forgiveness, nor is it possible to reconcile the relationships, simply because usually those relationships were dysfunctional and destructive, and therefore can never, nor should they be, restored.

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